Hey there again!
It's been quite a while since the last post, (May 2008! heck! That was... AUTUMN! hah hah hah).
Well, ever since that time, many a thing has happened, by jove yes.
A few months of blood, sweat, laughter, fun, cheerfulness, regrets, strange surges of confidence, adrenaline rushes, building relationships, relaxaaaaation...
What can I say? It's life!
Firstly, Uni... heh, Uni... it has been a very rough ride, oh so very rough. Landscape Architecture is a very demanding course, its little wonder why RMIT is known as the best design school in Melbourne!
This semester I have been working on Moonee Ponds Creek.. its a vast site, and smells weird. Unfortunately it is polluted, remnants of mankinds destruction and carelessness for nature, some students are actually addressing this issue in their designs!
Speaking of which, the final presentation is due in this Friday! And next Monday is the presentation! So intense, I'm not sure if I can make this last run with enough breath...
We'll see =) Though actually, I can easily finish, just that I'm playing perfectionist so I'm putting lots more work on myself, it might be worth! For I am also entering in a Landscaping competition! Judge by a panel of high authority! The winner takes home $$$ (I think!)
Next! The Optoms... yep! Over this year, I have been hanging around with First year optometry students at MU... lots. I've gotten to know them, and quite well now, I must say... it is so pleasant to hang around with them. A few eccentrics, interesting characters, some sweet people and couple of peeps whom I've known before hanging around with the optoms.
I feel quite normal and happy when hanging around MU hah hah.
Of course, I've got mates at Landscape Archi! The usual ALL NIGHTER crew! hah hah, lets see... mostly Hiro and Rajiv... we are ALWAYS in the labs... working like mad, rushing and stressing. Awesome times guys! Hah hah
So lots of happy times amongst the CRAZILY STRESSING times!!!
Besides, I've got many plans for the holidays coming up! Highly anticipating!! ^^
And there are a lot of... stresses and pains too... but I might save that for another post... at the moment, I think I've got it in control...
Don't want to ruin the mood of this post! It's been happy so far!!
Hmm, so many people I need to catch up with, mostly MHS people and many others... if you are ready this and wanna catch up, just yell!! Hah hah!
Rightyo! I've got plenty more to talk about! But need to sleep, this week is gonna be HECTIC!!
Signing off....
Monday, October 20, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Bonsai trap
I admit it, I fell into that trap of losing my imagination of creating trees... that deadly pitfall for bonsai enthusiasts, where the eager hobbyist (I'm much more than a hobbyist in terms of interest if you ask me!) has swayed to thinking INSIDE the square of creating Bonsai.
Alas for the ever wandering and daydreaming mind!! I am not ashamed to admit, that I enjoy daydreaming and doing a lot of thinking... but in this particular situation, Bonsai growing wise... I've been deterred from that path of "creating a tree an image, something nice almost out of any raw stock thrown at me".... that "personality" and "personal and imagination" guides and dominates when creating a tree.
All that "let your imagination guide you" stuff I talked to many of you about and the abolishment of "rules" and "dos and donts" I have forgotten somewhere in those thoughts of bonsai.
I do not know when, but I still remember years ago creating a little something out of nothing as a complete novice, nothing that I know now about bonsai i knew back then. That little something is now something awesome in my own eyes and treasured, over Mr Kimuras or Kobayashis trees anyday.
So thus also thinking back to just a few weeks ago in my garden, there are little junipers that I had bought because I felt like it and thought they might look nice *sometime*... well, I wanted to make something out of them... these "unattractive" and thin trunked junipers...
Well, I made something out of them, just creating stuff that I found attractive to my eye... and hell I love them to bits now.
So a little... er... GROUNDBREAKING discovery about own self:
The IMAGINATION and passion is there... just well and truly misled.
and I thank the one and only Mr Lindsay Farr for that 3 -4 hours of wisdom given out to me whilst I hung around his workshop on a chilly day. That widsom that pierced through the fogginess of my bonsai mind and ultimately just put me on the right perspective of how bonsai does not have to be crafted by only advanced techniques, but by the imagination.
www.bonsaifarm.tv is Lindsay Farrs site, good stuff there, seriously.
OH and dont forget to have fun people... I have NEVER EVER forgotten that...
Alas for the ever wandering and daydreaming mind!! I am not ashamed to admit, that I enjoy daydreaming and doing a lot of thinking... but in this particular situation, Bonsai growing wise... I've been deterred from that path of "creating a tree an image, something nice almost out of any raw stock thrown at me".... that "personality" and "personal and imagination" guides and dominates when creating a tree.
All that "let your imagination guide you" stuff I talked to many of you about and the abolishment of "rules" and "dos and donts" I have forgotten somewhere in those thoughts of bonsai.
I do not know when, but I still remember years ago creating a little something out of nothing as a complete novice, nothing that I know now about bonsai i knew back then. That little something is now something awesome in my own eyes and treasured, over Mr Kimuras or Kobayashis trees anyday.
So thus also thinking back to just a few weeks ago in my garden, there are little junipers that I had bought because I felt like it and thought they might look nice *sometime*... well, I wanted to make something out of them... these "unattractive" and thin trunked junipers...
Well, I made something out of them, just creating stuff that I found attractive to my eye... and hell I love them to bits now.
So a little... er... GROUNDBREAKING discovery about own self:
The IMAGINATION and passion is there... just well and truly misled.
and I thank the one and only Mr Lindsay Farr for that 3 -4 hours of wisdom given out to me whilst I hung around his workshop on a chilly day. That widsom that pierced through the fogginess of my bonsai mind and ultimately just put me on the right perspective of how bonsai does not have to be crafted by only advanced techniques, but by the imagination.
www.bonsaifarm.tv is Lindsay Farrs site, good stuff there, seriously.
OH and dont forget to have fun people... I have NEVER EVER forgotten that...
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Update imminent!!
[EDIT - Apparently it appears that some people find what I talk about things in this blog in a too crazy or uncivilised manner, In my opinion, its not, cause I'm different thats it. But for others, I would change it and thus this update is not written in a true 100% passion)
Hey, I know I havent been updating this blog lately... in fact... its been like MONTHS since I have.
I also know that some people actually READ this blog, and a big thank you to you people.
People just bothering to make an effort to read this is something I really appreciate for!
Well... I plan to talk about
Also...
Current Projects
01. Project Nameless
This is an actual project/assignment for Landscape Architecture, its some serious stuff... most of it is actually sitting down and thinking... then going to sites and landscapes and thinking and occasionally note taking. All I can say is, its a lot of thinking of design aspects and thinking in abstract forms...
Very enjoyable yes.
But Project Nameless namely asks us to design a space, a carpark specifically, mainly to design this carpark and thinking about how we use the space, the spatial qualities of what we put in that design, how it affects space etc...
02. Project Kitty
This project is about kitties... I LOVE KITTIES, KITTIES, I LOVE THEM.
See, an idea of mine came up to be that one day I should live with a faithful companion in the form of a feline that should reside on top of my head for many hours of a day.
Yes! It is inevitable that I plan to train a cat from its kitten stage to adulthood.... to sit on my head without obligation!
Alas, that a kitten should stumble upon my grasps in recent, but the Lord hath not prepared me for this destiny just yet! However, I am compensating for that by practicing with kitty indeed! A plushie kitty that lives in my sisters car: a Skelanimal cat. Its emo and goth but I love it and I plan to purchase one for myself to be my faithful dead companion.
03. Project Pocket
Ah... Project Pocket.... for this project has none of wide productivity and the requirement of heavy industrialisation, rather the meek habit of searching in antique shops, the net and of markets.
Well, I am trying to seek pocketwatches
And Project POCKET cause pocketwatches are not called pocketwatches for no reason
04. Project Linguistics
I am attempting to self teach Japanese, its quite exciting and I also try to learn Mandarin and Cantonese through friends, relatives and church. Nothing crazy about this sentence yea?
05. Project EGA
EGA... stands for - Elegant Gothic Aristocrat
I wanna be a person who wears EGA for fun (excludes the lipstick)... its a fashion style that the Japanese people have made, dark shady clothes... etc
Its wear you wear Victorian clothing in the modern society but jazzed up with nice hair and shoes :) I have still yet to acquire all the articles of clothing and accessories.
This is what I have so far -
- A long black coat
- Dress pants (from the formal) or these emo pants I have (love you)
- An antique pocket watch
- The hair (I is asian)
- Shirt (I MIGHT use this shirt... Victorian shirts are better)
These are what I NEED to complete my EGA style
- Victorian Shirt (high collar, so cool)
- Victorian Vest (a nice dark gray or blackish one)
- A nicer antique pocketwatch with a chain ^^ (so it can hang off the front of my vest)
- Some suitable shoes (funky or plain, all cool)
- Maybe a Cravat... these are cool (or I can just get some material and make a cravat, or stick with a scarf)
- Grey contacts (unique it is)
- Hair dyed in some appropriate manner :P
- Antique Motorcycle goggles (so cool)
And to TOP IT OFF... the cat on the head... (I know you think its nuts, EVERYONE does)
Basically, I want to walk around in public occasionally with a friend in EGA-KOH (Kitty On Head) style, just to be seen harajyuku style.
Hopefully someone out there likes EGA and not ashamed to wear it in public as well.
Well! I am unique person, but to what degree? I do not know, thats not for me to decide, I shall let others judge and tell me what I am and what I should be... I've always done that and I shall continue to do so >_>
Anyway, hope you have enjoyed reading my rantings for now, I'll be back!
~ The Lonely Cat Charmer
Hey, I know I havent been updating this blog lately... in fact... its been like MONTHS since I have.
I also know that some people actually READ this blog, and a big thank you to you people.
People just bothering to make an effort to read this is something I really appreciate for!
Well... I plan to talk about
Also...
Current Projects
01. Project Nameless
This is an actual project/assignment for Landscape Architecture, its some serious stuff... most of it is actually sitting down and thinking... then going to sites and landscapes and thinking and occasionally note taking. All I can say is, its a lot of thinking of design aspects and thinking in abstract forms...
Very enjoyable yes.
But Project Nameless namely asks us to design a space, a carpark specifically, mainly to design this carpark and thinking about how we use the space, the spatial qualities of what we put in that design, how it affects space etc...
02. Project Kitty
This project is about kitties... I LOVE KITTIES, KITTIES, I LOVE THEM.
See, an idea of mine came up to be that one day I should live with a faithful companion in the form of a feline that should reside on top of my head for many hours of a day.
Yes! It is inevitable that I plan to train a cat from its kitten stage to adulthood.... to sit on my head without obligation!
Alas, that a kitten should stumble upon my grasps in recent, but the Lord hath not prepared me for this destiny just yet! However, I am compensating for that by practicing with kitty indeed! A plushie kitty that lives in my sisters car: a Skelanimal cat. Its emo and goth but I love it and I plan to purchase one for myself to be my faithful dead companion.
03. Project Pocket
Ah... Project Pocket.... for this project has none of wide productivity and the requirement of heavy industrialisation, rather the meek habit of searching in antique shops, the net and of markets.
Well, I am trying to seek pocketwatches
And Project POCKET cause pocketwatches are not called pocketwatches for no reason
04. Project Linguistics
I am attempting to self teach Japanese, its quite exciting and I also try to learn Mandarin and Cantonese through friends, relatives and church. Nothing crazy about this sentence yea?
05. Project EGA
EGA... stands for - Elegant Gothic Aristocrat
I wanna be a person who wears EGA for fun (excludes the lipstick)... its a fashion style that the Japanese people have made, dark shady clothes... etc
Its wear you wear Victorian clothing in the modern society but jazzed up with nice hair and shoes :) I have still yet to acquire all the articles of clothing and accessories.
This is what I have so far -
- A long black coat
- Dress pants (from the formal) or these emo pants I have (love you)
- An antique pocket watch
- The hair (I is asian)
- Shirt (I MIGHT use this shirt... Victorian shirts are better)
These are what I NEED to complete my EGA style
- Victorian Shirt (high collar, so cool)
- Victorian Vest (a nice dark gray or blackish one)
- A nicer antique pocketwatch with a chain ^^ (so it can hang off the front of my vest)
- Some suitable shoes (funky or plain, all cool)
- Maybe a Cravat... these are cool (or I can just get some material and make a cravat, or stick with a scarf)
- Grey contacts (unique it is)
- Hair dyed in some appropriate manner :P
- Antique Motorcycle goggles (so cool)
And to TOP IT OFF... the cat on the head... (I know you think its nuts, EVERYONE does)
Basically, I want to walk around in public occasionally with a friend in EGA-KOH (Kitty On Head) style, just to be seen harajyuku style.
Hopefully someone out there likes EGA and not ashamed to wear it in public as well.
Well! I am unique person, but to what degree? I do not know, thats not for me to decide, I shall let others judge and tell me what I am and what I should be... I've always done that and I shall continue to do so >_>
Anyway, hope you have enjoyed reading my rantings for now, I'll be back!
~ The Lonely Cat Charmer
Friday, December 14, 2007
Excitements
Damn, im excited
There are so many possibilities and things to do in this world and I wanna experience so much of it. I shall gladly bore you with by telling about them :)
Firstly, as people know, I am into bonsai, and goodness, so many opportunities have opened up to me now that I am temporarily free! Such as "bonsai hunts", where I can walk around dangerous rocky paths and along random creeks looking for potential bonsai material to collect! Ah! So exciting! The danger the potential!
Secondly, thanks to Mr Rowan (I'll get you later boy) I am now addicted to seeking, viewing and collecting Art Nouveau antique items and architecture...
...and 1800s - 1900s pocketwatches.
Another point that I must stress is the fact that I am NOT rich.
Now, some may think it is insanity! That 'this is madness!' (THIS IS SPARTA) and that its a waste of money...so let me ask: What do you like doing? Watching movies and tv? Well, my SUBSTITUTE for your lovable desire for flicks on the screen is viewing Art Nouveau! Pretty simple huh?
Thirdly, GOING OVERSEAS! To Japan! To nice areas such as Kyoto where the tranquil gardens lie and the World Heritage site: Yakushima! And yes, Mr Rowan is my travel partner for this thrilling experience (and guess what we're gonna rant on about in Japan other than Japan related stuff? :D)
Well...at the moment, I just lost momentum to write, so I might continue this another time *yawn*
I still have heaps to rant on about really >_>
Anyway, sayonara for now
Neko-man
There are so many possibilities and things to do in this world and I wanna experience so much of it. I shall gladly bore you with by telling about them :)
Firstly, as people know, I am into bonsai, and goodness, so many opportunities have opened up to me now that I am temporarily free! Such as "bonsai hunts", where I can walk around dangerous rocky paths and along random creeks looking for potential bonsai material to collect! Ah! So exciting! The danger the potential!
Secondly, thanks to Mr Rowan (I'll get you later boy) I am now addicted to seeking, viewing and collecting Art Nouveau antique items and architecture...
...and 1800s - 1900s pocketwatches.
Another point that I must stress is the fact that I am NOT rich.
Now, some may think it is insanity! That 'this is madness!' (THIS IS SPARTA) and that its a waste of money...so let me ask: What do you like doing? Watching movies and tv? Well, my SUBSTITUTE for your lovable desire for flicks on the screen is viewing Art Nouveau! Pretty simple huh?
Thirdly, GOING OVERSEAS! To Japan! To nice areas such as Kyoto where the tranquil gardens lie and the World Heritage site: Yakushima! And yes, Mr Rowan is my travel partner for this thrilling experience (and guess what we're gonna rant on about in Japan other than Japan related stuff? :D)
Well...at the moment, I just lost momentum to write, so I might continue this another time *yawn*
I still have heaps to rant on about really >_>
Anyway, sayonara for now
Neko-man
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Design II
If you scroll down, you can see two garden designs, the one below is the one I posted earlier on, just a simple design to keep me happy etc.
The design on TOP is to keep someone else happy! lol. A design for a friend's birthday it is, I know she likes it, but I thought I might as well post it cause I also like opinions on it too if possible. But all in all, this garden design is no longer really mine, but my friends, who has ownership of it via b'day present, heh heh.
I shall explain the aesthetics of this garden. First of all...no one said I'm professional so my statements and implications of the geomatics and design aspects of the garden maybe totally inaccurate...I DID try study more about the garden style though.
I had also sorta re-designed a certain section of in another version, but thats on paper...its slightly different and maybe significant, but thats still alright I suppose....for now
The style is: Cottage Style...perhaps a splash of modernisation in it. There are heaps of conifers (finely pruned and shaped of course), lush lawn, a few deciduous trees and a REALLY fine and outstanding deciduous (or maybe a conifer) somewhere in there (somewhere where its more easily seen) just to provide a bit more 'wow'
On the eastern side of the design, there is a whole row of conifers (circles that follow a line)...and in the corner are some more circles (which are WISTERIA plants). The purpose of this is for the conifers to block out the wisteria so the garden looks plain, green, 'flowery' and very uniform. However, as you venture behind the tall conifers via a slightly hidden path, you will be met with an array of flowers and the sort...note that wisteria only bloom once a season and not for long...BUT other plants will be there and it will be shaded in there and hopefully an extremely relaxing environment for one to recline/sleep/reside in.
Cottage style gardens tend to have hidden parts of the garden...the wisteria vines/plants (wisteria might be grown to climb pergolas, or something climbable so the blooms of the wisteria may be droop and provide a show of its gracefulness and beauty (sounds like a goddess doesnt it?...ah....a goddess....) *ahem*....
North of the garden is a fountain has smoothly running water that will provide a tranquility to the garden. Another purpose for placing the fountain in that area, nearer to the wisteria grove, is that the whilst in that hidden area one can hear the running waters...yet do not see the source of these flowing waters...this may thus invoke a feeling more depth to the garden.
So the ultimate feeling of being in that nice hidden part of the garden? Imagine a beautiful sunny day, its the afternoon, you have that warm fuzzy fresh feeling in you, barefoot you walk into this hidden area, you walk along the path to your corner, the blooms brushing amongst your hair. Finally, you find yourself flat out on soft outdoor bed, and breath in exhilarating breaths of relief as you rest through the evening where the sounds of water will soothe your soul and thus worry not about the coming tomorrow...
^_^
There is heaps I will be able to yap on about, but its 1.05am at the moment...and I'm somewhat sleepy, so my first my vocabularly will be down the drain and I won't be able to express the "wonders" (if there are any) of this garden in a better way, but I hope some people sort of enjoyed this blog...
Btw...just to prove I'm more of a weirdo than you people think I am...I'm interested in:
- Tap dancing
- Some travelling, Europe, Borneo, China, Japan...ahh
- Golf (sorta got into this during year 10...)
- Bonsai (4 years already baby!)
- Astronomy...revived my 'mesmerisation' (I get mesmerised thinking about the dynamic universe) recently
- Quantum Physics (...YEA, I know what you are thinking, but I'm actually understanding it despite doing ALL commerce subjects for my VCE...I am NEVER going to touch ommerce ever again >_>")
Signing off for now - Kelv
The design on TOP is to keep someone else happy! lol. A design for a friend's birthday it is, I know she likes it, but I thought I might as well post it cause I also like opinions on it too if possible. But all in all, this garden design is no longer really mine, but my friends, who has ownership of it via b'day present, heh heh.
I shall explain the aesthetics of this garden. First of all...no one said I'm professional so my statements and implications of the geomatics and design aspects of the garden maybe totally inaccurate...I DID try study more about the garden style though.
I had also sorta re-designed a certain section of in another version, but thats on paper...its slightly different and maybe significant, but thats still alright I suppose....for now
The style is: Cottage Style...perhaps a splash of modernisation in it. There are heaps of conifers (finely pruned and shaped of course), lush lawn, a few deciduous trees and a REALLY fine and outstanding deciduous (or maybe a conifer) somewhere in there (somewhere where its more easily seen) just to provide a bit more 'wow'
On the eastern side of the design, there is a whole row of conifers (circles that follow a line)...and in the corner are some more circles (which are WISTERIA plants). The purpose of this is for the conifers to block out the wisteria so the garden looks plain, green, 'flowery' and very uniform. However, as you venture behind the tall conifers via a slightly hidden path, you will be met with an array of flowers and the sort...note that wisteria only bloom once a season and not for long...BUT other plants will be there and it will be shaded in there and hopefully an extremely relaxing environment for one to recline/sleep/reside in.
Cottage style gardens tend to have hidden parts of the garden...the wisteria vines/plants (wisteria might be grown to climb pergolas, or something climbable so the blooms of the wisteria may be droop and provide a show of its gracefulness and beauty (sounds like a goddess doesnt it?...ah....a goddess....) *ahem*....
North of the garden is a fountain has smoothly running water that will provide a tranquility to the garden. Another purpose for placing the fountain in that area, nearer to the wisteria grove, is that the whilst in that hidden area one can hear the running waters...yet do not see the source of these flowing waters...this may thus invoke a feeling more depth to the garden.
So the ultimate feeling of being in that nice hidden part of the garden? Imagine a beautiful sunny day, its the afternoon, you have that warm fuzzy fresh feeling in you, barefoot you walk into this hidden area, you walk along the path to your corner, the blooms brushing amongst your hair. Finally, you find yourself flat out on soft outdoor bed, and breath in exhilarating breaths of relief as you rest through the evening where the sounds of water will soothe your soul and thus worry not about the coming tomorrow...
^_^
There is heaps I will be able to yap on about, but its 1.05am at the moment...and I'm somewhat sleepy, so my first my vocabularly will be down the drain and I won't be able to express the "wonders" (if there are any) of this garden in a better way, but I hope some people sort of enjoyed this blog...
Btw...just to prove I'm more of a weirdo than you people think I am...I'm interested in:
- Tap dancing
- Some travelling, Europe, Borneo, China, Japan...ahh
- Golf (sorta got into this during year 10...)
- Bonsai (4 years already baby!)
- Astronomy...revived my 'mesmerisation' (I get mesmerised thinking about the dynamic universe) recently
- Quantum Physics (...YEA, I know what you are thinking, but I'm actually understanding it despite doing ALL commerce subjects for my VCE...I am NEVER going to touch ommerce ever again >_>")
Signing off for now - Kelv
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Cat
Yep, my cat Kiki, its about her.
It has only been 6 months since my cat, Kiki has passed away...it seems like an eternity that she has been away, I have never really given a full account of how it was like...not happy thats for sure.
Here was the scenario:
Happy that Kiki would finally get to a vet and even though I know that she may have one ear amputated, I was still optimistic that she would not be in pain ever again...
Unfortunately and most sadly, I was wrong
I remember the vets immediate diagnosis of cancer, how fast it was, "cancer"...boom..."live or die"
Even though those werent the words the vet said...thats what it seemed to me. The vet had asked that question that will haunt my life forever, euthanise or not euthanise? Kill or not kill? Mercy or no mercy?
I still remember, Kiki's cancer bought her pain, unbelievable pain in fact, if she had to die, she would rest forever, if she lived, the many traumatising treatments of surgery and being locked up indoors await her...
What would you do? Live or die?
I painfully chose the latter, I was the who to decide, I was the one who had this dreadful task...a transaction of $90 later...we were out the door...so fast so quickly. My last glimpse of her as I walked out the door, she was staring at me..."where are you going?" her eyes said..."why are you leaving me!"....those green eyes of disbelief...
I remember crying in the car, and I cant hold back the tears now, on the way home knowing that I won't see her waiting behind the backdoor of the house for us ever again...
The vet's were so close...yet Kiki is so close, but so very far away...
I know...it was all the best for Kiki...though I know she loved me dearly and I so too...the day we had to part was 24th January 2007. She is out of pain...thats all that matters, that she may find peace and that she had found her way into the places of comfort somewhere in the spiritual world.
How easy it is, for a loved one to go...thus I say to my readers:
Love your close ones with all your heart, they could disappear forever from your lives so quickly. Don't neglect.
Kiki's love was unconditional, loved those she loved for who they were, no matter what their values were, no matter what they may have done in the past...
As a Christian, I think can relate Kiki's love to the love Jesus shows us, unconditional love.
I found that very encouraging, that you find something similar to such love in a humble kitty.
It's quite amazing actually, its like as though God created cats just to tell us that He loves his sons and daughters very much and also teach us a lesson of love (and survival...cats can survive by themselves in the wild...can YOU?)
Heh, I know, its somewhat depressing but hey, life is life, I still get teary over it, but Kiki doesn't (Cats dont cry LOL) and whether she is now dust or living in heaven she is out of pain and no longer bears the burden of the earth.
Thats my post done for the time being, hope to catch ya guys soon (somewhere, sometime...)
On an even happier note, I would like to give a permanent...*HUG* to that special person who hopefully will be reading this sometime, you know who you are.
It has only been 6 months since my cat, Kiki has passed away...it seems like an eternity that she has been away, I have never really given a full account of how it was like...not happy thats for sure.
Here was the scenario:
Happy that Kiki would finally get to a vet and even though I know that she may have one ear amputated, I was still optimistic that she would not be in pain ever again...
Unfortunately and most sadly, I was wrong
I remember the vets immediate diagnosis of cancer, how fast it was, "cancer"...boom..."live or die"
Even though those werent the words the vet said...thats what it seemed to me. The vet had asked that question that will haunt my life forever, euthanise or not euthanise? Kill or not kill? Mercy or no mercy?
I still remember, Kiki's cancer bought her pain, unbelievable pain in fact, if she had to die, she would rest forever, if she lived, the many traumatising treatments of surgery and being locked up indoors await her...
What would you do? Live or die?
I painfully chose the latter, I was the who to decide, I was the one who had this dreadful task...a transaction of $90 later...we were out the door...so fast so quickly. My last glimpse of her as I walked out the door, she was staring at me..."where are you going?" her eyes said..."why are you leaving me!"....those green eyes of disbelief...
I remember crying in the car, and I cant hold back the tears now, on the way home knowing that I won't see her waiting behind the backdoor of the house for us ever again...
The vet's were so close...yet Kiki is so close, but so very far away...
I know...it was all the best for Kiki...though I know she loved me dearly and I so too...the day we had to part was 24th January 2007. She is out of pain...thats all that matters, that she may find peace and that she had found her way into the places of comfort somewhere in the spiritual world.
How easy it is, for a loved one to go...thus I say to my readers:
Love your close ones with all your heart, they could disappear forever from your lives so quickly. Don't neglect.
Kiki's love was unconditional, loved those she loved for who they were, no matter what their values were, no matter what they may have done in the past...
As a Christian, I think can relate Kiki's love to the love Jesus shows us, unconditional love.
I found that very encouraging, that you find something similar to such love in a humble kitty.
It's quite amazing actually, its like as though God created cats just to tell us that He loves his sons and daughters very much and also teach us a lesson of love (and survival...cats can survive by themselves in the wild...can YOU?)
Heh, I know, its somewhat depressing but hey, life is life, I still get teary over it, but Kiki doesn't (Cats dont cry LOL) and whether she is now dust or living in heaven she is out of pain and no longer bears the burden of the earth.
Thats my post done for the time being, hope to catch ya guys soon (somewhere, sometime...)
On an even happier note, I would like to give a permanent...*HUG* to that special person who hopefully will be reading this sometime, you know who you are.
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